by West Texas Holstein Blues
Bale Harrison & The Field Hands
LYRICS
Howdy, Lubbock.
Hot?
Windy?
Ya, I know it.
(Verse 1)
I woke up this mornin’, sun risin’ in the sky,
But my Holstein cow was missin’, and I couldn’t figure why.
She’s a wanderin’ soul, out in that dusty plain,
Now I’m searchin’ West Texas, in the heat and in the rain.
(Chorus)
I got the West Texas Holstein blues,
She’s always on the move, givin’ me those cues.
She’s grazin’ on my patience, chewin’ up my shoes,
Yeah, I got the West Texas Holstein blues.
(Verse 2)
She’s a fence-hoppin’ mama, always lookin’ for more,
Leaves me standin’ in the barn, just a-scratchin’ at the door.
She’s got that Lone Star spirit, wild and free as can be,
But I’m chasin’ her all over, wish she’d just come back to me.
(Chorus)
I got the West Texas Holstein blues,
She’s got me runnin’ ragged, it’s nothin’ new.
She’s grazin’ on the tumbleweeds, out where the cactus grew,
Yeah, I got the West Texas Holstein blues.
(Bridge)
Now she’s out there somewhere, under that big ol’ Texas moon,
Moo-in’ at the coyotes, while I’m hummin’ this tune.
I’m sittin’ here with an empty pail, wonderin’ what to do,
‘Cause milkin’ thin air, well, it’s leavin’ me blue.
(Verse 3)
She’s got a mind of her own, doesn’t care ‘bout my plan,
I just wanted some fresh cream, but she’s dancin’ in the sand.
She’s a haywire Holstein, with a taste for mischief too,
And now I’m here all lonesome, singin’ these Holstein blues.
(Chorus)
I got the West Texas Holstein blues,
She’s always roamin’ far, never followin’ my cues.
She’s kickin’ up the dust, and I’m left to choose,
Between my sanity and these West Texas Holstein blues.
(Outro)
So if you’re ever out in Texas, and you hear a mournful sound,
It’s just me and my Holstein, wanderin’ all around.
She’s got me tied in knots, got me singin’ these tunes,
Forever cursed by the West Texas Holstein blues.
This song captures the humor and frustration of dealing with a mischievous Holstein cow in the vast, open spaces of West Texas. The lyrics play on the blues tradition of lamenting life’s troubles, all while infusing a bit of fun and lightheartedness into the challenges of farm life.
“The West Texas Holstein Blues” is a humorous song that plays with the everyday challenges and quirks of dealing with Holstein cows on a farm, especially in a rugged, rural setting like West Texas. The humor in the song comes from a combination of wordplay, exaggerated scenarios, and the juxtaposition of serious “blues” music themes with the lighthearted, sometimes absurd realities of farm life.
Key Elements of Humor in the Song
- Wordplay and Puns:
- The song is filled with puns and wordplay that blend farm terminology with the language of the blues. For example, phrases like “Udderly Confused” and “Moo-sic to My Ears” create a playful twist on common expressions, making the listener smile at the cleverness of the word choices.
- Exaggerated Scenarios:
- The song humorously exaggerates the difficulties of managing a Holstein cow, such as the cow being a “fence hoppin’ fool” or having “moo-d swings.” These exaggerated scenarios are funny because they take ordinary farm challenges to a ridiculous level, making the cow seem almost human in its mischief and moodiness.
- Juxtaposition of Serious and Silly:
- The blues genre is traditionally associated with deep emotions, hardships, and serious life struggles. By applying this serious tone to something as mundane and lighthearted as the antics of a Holstein cow, the song creates a humorous contrast. The idea of being “milked dry” by a cow, both literally and emotionally, adds a layer of irony that’s both funny and relatable to anyone who has dealt with farm animals.
- Personification of the Cow:
- The cow is personified with traits like having “wild moo-d swings” or doing the “Texas two-moo.” These descriptions give the cow human-like qualities, which is funny because it creates an image of the cow behaving in ways that are both unexpected and absurd.
- Relatable Farm Struggles:
- For people familiar with farming, the song captures the frustration and unpredictability of dealing with livestock, but does so in a way that turns those struggles into something to laugh about. The “bovine breakdown” or reaching the “cow-tipping point” are humorous because they turn real farm problems into punchlines, making the challenges seem less daunting and more like funny anecdotes.
- Absurd Imagery:
- Imagery like “Lone Star Grazin’” and “Bovine Boogie” paint absurd but vivid pictures of a cow dancing or wandering like a lone cowboy, adding to the song’s comedic effect. These visual jokes are humorous because they take ordinary farm scenes and twist them into something unexpected.
Overall Humor
The overall humor in “The West Texas Holstein Blues” comes from how it takes a serious musical form—the blues—and applies it to the comical, everyday annoyances of farming. The song’s lyrics create a playful, exaggerated world where a Holstein cow is the source of endless trouble, yet the trouble is so absurd and over-the-top that it’s hard not to laugh. By combining wordplay, personification, and exaggerated scenarios, the song turns the trials of farm life into something lighthearted and entertaining, making it a fun listen for both farmers and city folk alike. 
Originally posted 2003-09-01 02:00:50.
